Self-Esteem and Communication


People with deficient self-esteem often belittle their ideas, even while expressing them.  They can turn fact into opinion by starting sentences with “I think” or “I feel”.  They apologize before presenting a new idea.  They make self-deprecating remarks. They laugh (often at inappropriate times) to release nervous energy.  They suddenly freeze in confusion and uncertainty because they anticipate disagreement and “rejection”.  They make statements of fact sound like questions by raising the tone of their voice at the end of a sentence.

Not all communication problems are the result of inadequate education; sometimes the root cause is a self-concept that generates self-sabotage.

Self-Esteem and Failure

Mistakes and failures are inevitable in the course of any career.  What is decisive for your future is not the defeat but the state of mind with which you greet it.

If you suffer a defeat in your work – the business loses money, the strategy fails, the deal falls through, the customer goes elsewhere, the promotion does not happen – but you face that defeat with a solid self-esteem, you tend to manifest resilience; you pick yourself up and get back in the ring.  If you suffer defeat and have an underdeveloped self-esteem, you are at risk to resort to blaming, scapegoating, denial, passivity, depression or despair.